The Popkorn Junkie

The internet is a fine tool for researching films. As I was chatting with some people online, trying to locate some interesting trailers of some forthcoming attractions, one of them told me of a way I could watch the film "Dahmer" without going to the movie theatre. So, I downloaded the bootleg film and watched it within the comforts and confines of my own home. Yes, I know it was illegal, but I won't make it a habit, I swear. Until it was mentioned to me, I had never heard of "Dahmer". Afterwards, I did some research on www.imdb.com and www.movies.yahoo.com and found out that it hadn't even been released anywhere other than LA, NY, and CH yet. So, I am thrilled that I can bring the review to you so prematurely.

Based on the true life monstrosities of killer/cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer, Jeremy Renner portrays the psychopath as he murders, rapes, and eats his victims, one by one. This film follows his life pretty accurately throughout, offering grotesque and unnerving scenes of murder and mayhem, similar to those in "Henry: Portrait of A Killer" and "Ed Gein". Bruce Davison co-stars as Lionel Dahmer, Jeffrey's father. Oh, and by the way, this is truly the worst film of the year and one of the worst films I have ever seen in my entire life. This one makes "Vanilla Sky" and "Windtalkers" seem like masterpieces beyond comparison. I literally ached after this film was over.

The story of Jeffrey Dahmer is so sick and twisted, and so complex, it could have and should have been turned into such a better film. Instead, director David Jacobson has decided to turn his story into a pathetic and useless piece of cinema that I doubt anyone will find entertaining. The directing is pitiful. The editing is pitiful. The cinematography is pitiful. The acting, with the exception of Bruce Davison (whom I will get back to later), is pitiful. This film as a whole is pitiful.

So, other than what I listed above, what makes this movie so terrible? Well, for starters, the pacing of the film is so slow and boring, it makes you wish that you would choke on your popkorn so you could be spared the boredom. And, nothing in the film is too shocking. Everything is grotesque and sickening in a campy, 'this looks disgustingly fake' kind of way. I felt like I was watching "Hannibal" meets "Cannibal: The Musical". It was awful.

The only ray of light in this dark, dark night was Bruce Davison, who was brilliant in portraying Jeffrey's father Lionel. Leave him in , strip the rest of the film away, find a new director and cast and screenplay, and you might have an Oscar worthy film here. Even though this was such an utterly pointless waste of time, Davison should possibly considered come Oscar time. It is bizarre for me to hate a film so much, yet love one of the performances within to a point of considering it for an Oscar. Hmmm, maybe that will be a new trend--stick a really good performance into a very bad film and see what happens? Why the heck not?

Don't even think about seeing this one in your entire lifetime. It is not worth the effort. Boycott this film if it comes nearby and prevent others from making the same mistake I did. There is NO WAY any film will top this film for #1 on my worst life, I guarantee that, and the year is not half over.

-- Billy Ray ( 0 out of 4 pops )

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