OK, so here's the synopsis:  An overachieving TV news reporter (Angelina Jolie) finds out from a bum/street prophet (Tony Shalhoub) that she's gonna die in a week.  At first she thinks it's a joke, set up by a dashing cameraman (Edward Burns) who she hates with a passion.  She assumes that he bribed the prophet to deliver that lie.  Then as the days go by, she sees that the prophet's other predictions (a football team winning 19-13, a hailstorm, etc.) are correct.  That's when she thinks to herself, "Maybe this all isn't a lie."  So she spends her last week on earth living life to the fullest, doing things like breaking up with her shallow ballplayer boyfriend and coming to work drunk one day and singing "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones with a group of protesting construction workers.  

     Now, the film does have an interesting premise.  What would you do if you only had a week to live?  But director Stephen Herek handles the premise in such a humdrum fashion, concentrating on other subplots including the all-too-predictable love affair between Jolie and Burns.  Come on, the two of them hate each other's guts at the beginning of the film.  Can you create a much more obvious setup?  

     If anyone has seen the trailer, I'd like to give this one disclaimer:  this is NOT a comedy!  Though Herek obviously intended it to be a comedy, the story gets too wrapped up in sentimental schmaltz that there's very little room for comedy.  And when the film does attempt, though very poorly, to be a comedy it's too late.  Once the story takes a serious turn, 20 minutes through the film, it never recovers.  Herek is the same director who brought us that awful Eddie Murphy vehicle "Holy Man."  Like in that movie, he creates a horribly uneven tone with no sense of comic timing whatsoever.  He tries to make the film more upbeat with pretentious fast-motion shots of Seattle, reminiscent of Madonna's "Ray of Light" video.  

     Now, I can say that this movie didn't put me to sleep.  And there's only one reason for that:  Angelina Jolie.  Not only is she insanely beautiful with a smile to die for, but she delivers another spirited performance.  And I kinda dig the blonde look too.  Edward Burns sleeps through his role, obviously embarrassed to be part of this heinous production.  I don't usually say this about directors, but he should stick to starring in his own films.  Burns has a lot more talent than screenwriters who get paid 10 times as much as him.  Tony Shalhoub is also wasted in a thankless role.  He is an underrated comic actor, and I loved him on "Wings."  Even he deserves better.  

     "Life or Something Like It" is a complete waste of time.  Not only is it devoid of laughs or general entertainment value, but it's entirely forgettable.  Jolie said that she would take a break from movies after done with "Tomb Raider."  I don't know why the hell she decided to change her mind and star in this clunker.