Originally
scheduled for release in June of 2001, in was pushed back to
November because of some last minute editing director John Woo
felt was necessary. However, after the September 11
attacks, it's release date was pushed back yet again, this time
to June 14, nearly one year after its original release date.
Alas, "Windtalkers" should have remained on the
shelves, never to see the same light of day as other films.
Why? Because this piece of crap deserves nothing but a
quick and reckless destruction.
Nicolas Cage stars as Sergeant Joe Enders who, after getting his
entire platoon killed by the enemy, fakes being well in order to
get another assignment. So, the Marines charge him with
watching after a Navajo code talker (Adam Beach), acting as sort
of a babysitter to the Native American soldier. And, he is
instructed to protect the code at all costs, even if it means
killing the code talker in the process. Christian Slater,
Mark Ruffalo, and Noah Emmerich play fellow code talkers and
Peter Stormare is the leader of the platoon.
So,
what's wrong with the movie, you are probably wondering?
Well, here you go: (1) Nicolas Cage is terrible. He
could have done such a better job and it feels as if he doesn't
know why the hell he is even in the picture; (2) the fight
scenes are awful. Ugh. They looked completely staged
and unauthentic; (3) cliché after cliché after cliché.
How many times must we watch the same old redundant bullcrap
without growing immune to their persuasions; (4) this was
essentially an action flick set to the backdrop of World War II.
John Woo tried sneaking in stuff about the Navajo way of life,
but surrounded it with too much shooting and corny dialogue; (5)
Noah Emmerich must have forgot how to act since "The Truman
Show" because he was laughable; (6) this film is more
comical than action packed or dramatic--Nicolas Cage keeps
receiving letters from a girl back home who has absolutely zero
relevance to the plot, other than to add a few extra minutes of
crap. And, Christian Slater has a role that most other
stars of his worth would have turned down in a heartbeat because
they knew it was useless crap.
I
hope that clarified why this is the worst film I have seen this
year, and the worst war movie I have ever seen, and that covers
a lot of crappy ground. I was extremely pissed off after
watching this film because I had expected so much from it; I
thought it might be John Woo's big break into serious drama.
Now, I realize that John Woo really has very minimal talent as a
director of anything other than explosions and pyrotechnics.
This film should dominate the Golden Raspberry Awards, and since
I am a licensed member of the Razzies, you can bet your ass it
will get my vote.
So, this is my final plea: go see something else.
Avoid this immense waste of time and catch something with some
substance to it, something that doesn't look like it was through
together at the last minute like some dinner party stew.
Maybe John Woo should have not edited it that final time.
Maybe then it would have been something. Then again, it would
take a hell of a lot more than some editing to fix this stinky
load of crap. The only thing "Windtalkers" spoke
to was my stomach.
